There is No Question

This past weekend, my husband, our daughter and I went camping with my side of the family. There were 9 of us in total and it was a picture-perfect weekend, weather-wise. We had never gone camping as a family before and I was glad our little one loved it so we can look forward to doing it again. It was my first time in about 15 years and I was shocked at how difficult some things had become since I got so fat. I wasn't trying to dwell on it, but there was no getting around it. For me, the best part of the weekend was sleeping on the air mattress! I was in a beautiful wooded setting with my favorite people on earth, and my favorite part was sleeping. We walked to the beach and I panicked when I saw the last stretch we had to walk was a big hill going down to the lake. All I could think of was that I'd have to walk back UP. Walking down was hard enough. Seriously, who else gets out of breath walking DOWN a hill? We took the long way back. Really long. But fewer hills. I felt like such a slow, fat, ball and chain. Every time I have something like this happen, which is more and more frequently, I know there is no question that this surgery is the answer.

Upper GI - Piece of Chalk! I mean CAKE!

Yesterday, my daughter and I headed to the hospital's professional building at the ass-crack of dawn for me to have my ultrasound and upper GI. I'm glad my little monkey is nine and knows how to behave herself.

First was my ultrasound. The technician said I had "so much gas" and I was thinking to myself, "No, that's fat." He was checking for gallstones and a hiatal hernia. The worst part was holding my breath until I thought I was surely going to pass out. Then I was off to the waiting room again to wait for my upper GI.

If you've never had one, it's really not that unpleasant. First they gave me two gowns, one for the front and one for the back so I didn't have to worry about tying. They also gave me a pair of pajama pants. They were way too tight on the butt and I couldn't pull them all the way up, so I left them in the changing room... but not without noticing they were a size 3X...

They started by taking a couple of xrays of my abdomen while I was lying down. Then they excused me back to the waiting room for about 15 minutes before the next group of technicians called me in. There was a small wall with a little step on the bottom where they had me stand. The assistant had a small dose cup of water and a packet of crystals that were like AlkaSeltzer. I was instructed to swallow it in one big gulp as soon as she dumped the crystals in the water and do not burp. The taste wasn't that bad. It was citrus-y. Not burping was tough. When my stomach was sufficiently inflated from that cocktail, they brought me a larger styrofoam cup of barium. It was very thick and chalky. But again, the taste wasn't horrible. I'd been fasting since midnight, so it was better than nothing! They told me to drink it all, in big gulps on their cue, and keep going until it was gone. They were filming this stuff going down my throat and into my stomach. I would have loved to see it!

Then they had me face the wall and the assistant placed a doubled pillow between my face and the wall. WTH??? Then the "wall" began tilting forward and kept going until I was lying on my stomach! The assistant brought me another big styrofoam cup of chalky nastiness with a big, fat straw in it. Again, I had to chug it, while lying on my stomach this time. Then the fun came. I had to roll to my right and onto my back. Then halfway to the left. Then halfway to the right. Back and forth, back and forth, while the barium coated my stomach. Then it was back and forth a few more times while they took more images. The table stood me back up and they gave me a tablet to swallow with water. I'm thinking maybe it was Gas-X or something since I didn't have any residual discomfort.

And that was it. 90 minutes total in the medical building. The tests were completely painless and while they weren't particularly pleasant, they were nothing to be afraid of.

Step One

I saw my surgeon this past Thursday for the first time and the appointment went very well. He was great - he explained everything, answered all my questions, and gave me great hope. I had a list of questions as long as my arm and he was very patient. I told him I was going to be his poster child and he was very encouraging. I was happy to learn that I am a very good candidate for this surgery.

I have set up my NUT and PSYCH appointments (2 of each) over the next few weeks and the surgeon's office will set up the rest. Since I used to smoke many years ago, I will have a pulmonary visit, I need to have a sleep study since I may have sleep apnea, I need an EGD,cardiology exam, and this Tuesday I am going for my upper GI/ultrasound. These appointments should be finished within 6-8 weeks (probably less) and then, if no follow up is needed, we submit to insurance. Luckily, my insurance is one that approves quickly, sometimes on the same day. Er.Mah.Gerd. This is happening!

I'm so hopeful and I think about this every waking moment, just like I think about being fat every waking moment. I visualize myself in a year, getting ready to turn 50, looking healthier and better than I ever have in my life. I think about going to school functions with my daughter and not trying to hide in the back of the room. I think about hitting the gym with my smoking hot husband on a regular basis again and not having people look at us like such an odd couple. I think about all the things that I'll no longer be held back from anymore. And I think about rocking my size 6 jeans that haven't seen the light of day in way too many years, and posting a lot more photos on FB than I do now.

I reached out to a local bariatric support group and I've learned a lot already. The group is made up of former bariatric patients who have had great success. I hope to one day be part of their mentor group so I can be as helpful to someone else as they have been to me.

I miss the old me. The real me. The fun and active me. I can't wait to be her again.

A Funny Thing Happened...

So last week, something happened that just reinforced my decision to get serious about this surgery. I took my little one to an early music lesson that her school is hosting for the summer. I dropped her off and then came home to get ready for a full day of end-of-summer back-to-school doctor appointments. It was not until I was sitting in the car waiting for her to come out that I noticed I'd left the house with my slippers on! Now, had I been able to SEE MY FEET, that would not have happened.

My appointment with the surgeon is finally feeling like it's getting close (next week). I have a list of questions to ask him and I just can't wait to get this thing going. Other blogs, video blogs, and some VSG online forums have been a huge help. I am just like a big old sponge right now.

Yeah, a BIG.OLD.SPONGE.