Random Thoughts

Okay, I've decided that no matter what you do with your hair, at 250+ pounds, it's not going to matter a hill of beans. I am in desperate need of a new style, and I've just been pinning it back or using a headband. It's a lost cause, so I'm done worrying about it.

The minutes are passing like DAYS now and I'm not known for my patience. I've scoped out cute clothes, cute hair styles, I've even read online menus from our favorite restaurants to see what I'll eat post-sleeve! Once I'm healed, of course. I've been loving the tips and inspiration that I'm getting from www.verticalsleevetalk.com. Real people, just like me, getting their lives back. Gotta love that.

After months of not wanting to go out, for fear of ummm... being seen, I'm almost to the point where I want people to see me so they have a basis for comparison later. I saw a photo of myself, taken at a recent family get-together and, although I cringed, I was happy for it since I will have it to look back on once I've shed my fat suit. Thank God I'm not tagged in it, though...

Introductions

This will be my chronicled account of my adventure as I go through the process of getting my bariatric surgery. I, like many people looking at metabolic surgery, have always struggled with my weight. I've been able to lose weight in the past, only to gain it all back, plus more.

My weight has bounced up and down for as long as I can remember. I was 130 pounds at 8 years old. I was the butt of so many hurtful jokes and the target of bullies from the get-go. I learned to keep a low profile and stay quiet. By high school, I was well over 200 pounds. In those days, it was easy to find pills in stores and in magazines to help weight loss. I took that route and lost 70 pounds really fast. I. Looked. Incredible. Suddenly the boys who had those awful nicknames for me when I was fat, were trying to get my attention. Pfffft... I didn't give them the time of day. It didn't matter to me that my hair had started falling out, or that my period stopped for a few months. I was thin!

Flash forward to 2012. I'm pushing 50 and my weight has gone up and down, sometimes to the tune of 100 pounds, countless times. I've read so much about nutrition, metabolism, energy expenditure, macronutrient balance... yet I'm still fat. After dieting my whole life, I'm still fat. Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Dexatrim, LA Weight Loss, Medifast, 17-Day Diet, Cabbage Soup, nutrition counseling, ... you name it. Each time I had any success at all, it backfired and I gained again when I got hungry. I would rather be wet and cold than hungry.

I began considering WLS earlier this year. First, I thought I'd do well with gastric banding. But, once I talked with my primary care doctor about it, I realized that the constant follow-up with fills and adjustments would be a pain. And the idea of a foreign "thing" in my body kinda' skeeved me. My doctor asked if I'd thought about "the sleeve." Honestly, I hadn't. I had done so much research on the Lap Band I bet I could perform the surgery myself! Now I had to educate myself on the sleeve. From that moment, I read everything I could find on the subject. Library books, websites, blogs, YouTube videos. It made perfect sense. And then I found the one piece of information that sealed the deal: buh-bye, ghrelin. The bane of my existence. Gone. Disposed of and burned to ashes. YES.

I contacted my insurance company and learned the great news that the procedure and all related tests and appointments are covered. Then I went to the information seminar that the surgeon hosts. I brought my not-quite-so-supportive-yet husband so he could learn from the professionals how to help me. I have my first appointment with the surgeon on August 16th. I plan to bring my written approval from my insurance carrier, as well as letters from two doctors attesting to the medical necessity. Since my BMI is just over 40, I want to make sure there is no question that I should have this surgery. Elevated glucose, stress incontinence, depression, arthritis, fused spine, degenerated discs...

Stay tuned.